(Homily for Gayton Road Christian Church's Worship on August 13, 2017, Proper 14)
Jacob’s Lopsided Love
Genesis could just have as well
have been titled “Family Feud.”
Nearly every one of its stories features conflict on the home
front—between husband and wife, mother and maidservant, one brother and
another.
Today’s episode finds us moving
from one generation to another.
The last several weeks we followed the story of Jacob as he struggled first
with his brother and then with his father-in-law. Today we meet Jacob’s sons, among whom the next conflict
brews. There’s responsible Reuben,
the firstborn, who has the oldest brother’s sense of duty. There’s Judah, the mischievous and
mercenary middle child, always asking what’s in it for him. And then there’s Joseph. The baby. The child of Jacob’s beloved wife Rachel. Daddy’s favorite.
A curious fact about the father
Jacob: he “loves” more than any other character in Genesis. First he loves his wife Rachel more
than his wife Leah. Now he loves
Joseph more than any of his other sons (37:3-4). This, I believe, is the key that unlocks today’s story. There is much that the narrator leaves
unsaid. But if we consider Jacob’s
lopsided love, his favoritism, much becomes clear.
First, it explains Joseph, who
comes off a little like a “spoiled” child in today’s story. For not only does his father favor him;
he knows it. He tattles on his
brothers. And then to add insult
to injury, he tells them about his dreams in which they are bowing down to
him. Joseph flaunts his
favor. It is no real surprise when
we hear that the brothers “hate” him and cannot find a good word to say to him.
Not only does Jacob’s lopsided
love help to explain Joseph and how his brothers feel about him. It also helps to explain how brothers
like Reuben and Judah feel about themselves. For they are not
sons of Rachel, Jacob’s beloved wife.
Not only do they grow up less loved than Joseph. They also see that their mother is less
loved than Joseph’s mother, Rachel.
How could they not feel like second-class sons? Their dad prefers their brother Joseph
to them, and he prefers Joseph’s mother to theirs. It is only natural that Joseph should feel superior, and
they resentfully inferior.
Reuben Runs Off Script
Let’s fast-forward, then, to the
drama in today’s episode. Joseph’s
brothers are pasturing their father’s flock. Where is Joseph?
Not under the hot sun with them.
Already we can imagine their anger.
Jacob eventually suggests to
Joseph that he go check on his brothers in the field. He won’t stay and work, of course. He’ll just bring back a report. And by now we can guess as well as the brothers what kind of
report this tattletale bring back.
So Joseph wanders out after his
brothers. While he is still at a
distance, his brothers start talking.
“Here comes the dreamer.
How about we put an end his dreams?” (cf. 37:19-20).
They begin scheming. But it’s not long before the
oldest—responsible Reuben—butts in.
The storyteller says that when Reuben heard all that his brothers were
saying, “he delivered [Joseph] out of their
hands” (37:21). Now if the
story ended there, we would simply assume that Joseph was saved. That’s what it means to be delivered,
right?
According to some ancient rabbis,
this is the pivotal moment in the story.
They read this sentence very literally—Reuben delivered Joseph out of
their hands—and then point out the obvious contradiction. Reuben did not deliver Joseph.
Sure, he keeps him from death, but he does not save him from the
mercenary machinations of Judah.
Joseph ends up sold into slavery.
So what’s happened? Why
does the story mislead us, telling us Reuben “delivered” Joseph?
The rabbis suggest a delightful
solution. It’s not the story that
has made a mistake. It is
Reuben. God called Reuben to
deliver Joseph. Responsible Reuben
intended to deliver Joseph. But at
the moment of truth, Reuben ran off script. He did not deliver
Joseph. Why? He doubted himself. The rabbis lament his hesitation: “If
Reuben had only known,” they say, “that the Holy One…would write of him, ‘And
Reuben heard and delivered him out of their hands,’ he would have picked Joseph
up on his shoulders and carried him back to his father.”[1] In other words, if Reuben had known
that God believed in him, was counting on him, had gone so far as to write his
deed in the book of life—if he had known this, he would have indeed delivered
Joseph.
The Difference It Makes When Someone Believes
in You
Why did Reuben doubt
himself? The story does not tell
us. But do you remember what we
observed earlier? That so much of
today’s story is explained by Jacob’s lopsided love for his wife Rachel and his
son Joseph?
Maybe Reuben doubts himself and
hesitates at the crucial moment because he lacks his father’s love and
affirmation.
It’s remarkable what a difference
it makes when someone loves you and believes in you. I’ve noticed this in the smallest of things, like the way I
become less and less self-conscious in public if I’m with a good friend, or the
way I played my best soccer when I had a coach who believed in me. Perhaps you’ve had similar
experiences. When someone believes
in us, it makes a big difference.
The tragedy of today’s story,
then, happens not only when Joseph gets sold into slavery. It happens much earlier, when Reuben
grows up without the full love and affirmation of his father. It is a tragedy that comes full circle,
when responsible Reuben knows the good thing to do but does not do it.
What Reuben Did Not Know, We Do Know
If only Reuben had known, the
rabbis say. If only he had known
that God believed in him, had so far as written down his deed in the story,
then he would have done it.
The difference between Reuben and
us, is that we do know God believes
in us. Even if we have lacked the
love of our father or our mother, we trust that we have an even deeper
love. There is a beautiful line in
the Psalms: “Though my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will take me in”
(Ps 27:10).[2] And in today’s gospel, we see that
Christ has more faith in us than we have in ourselves, that if only our faith
matched his we would walk strong amid the storm.
It is a tragedy when like Reuben we live without the love and
affirmation of others, and especially when that means we doubt ourselves in
pivotal moments. It is a tragedy
when it is written of us one thing, but we do another.
But our stories are not
finished. We are not
tragedies. The good news of Christ
is that God loves us and affirms our goodness, that where our earthly fathers
and mothers might fail, our heavenly one does not. What a difference it makes when someone believes in us. When the one who brought the universe
to life, believes in us. When the
one who is writing our story, believes in us.
What Is Being Written of Us Right Now?
I wonder: what is being written
of us today? Where are we like Reuben
hovering between intention and deed?
The events that happened at
Charlottesville have me hovering right now. I find myself asking: how should I respond to such violence,
such racism, such a wound in our nation?
I must begin in my own heart. I say I am not a
white supremacist. But I live in a
world where white is supreme. And I
have enjoyed the privileges of whiteness. I have inherited a world that grants me advantages and denies
them to others, that looks unsuspectingly on me and suspiciously on others,
that believes in me but not in others. Today’s scripture asks me: What will I do about it?
Maybe I will doubt and dilly-dally, like Reuben, feeling that something
should be done but not doing anything.
But why doubt when God loves us,
when God believes in us, when God is writing down our deeds right now? Maybe God is not writing something as
heroic as Reuben delivering Joseph and carrying him home on his shoulders. Maybe God is writing down smaller
things like more welcoming eye contact with folks whom we would normally avoid,
more conversations with strangers, more listening. Maybe God is writing down some uncomfortable realizations. Some uncomfortable changes.
Whatever God is writing of us,
know this. What held Reuben back, no longer holds sway. We are loved. May we live like it.
Prayer
God who has more faith in us
Than we do in ourselves,
Who affirms our good intentions,
Who goes so far as to write them down
In the story of our life:
Reach out to us
Where doubt drags us beneath;
Give us faith
To turn good intention into good deed.
In Christ, who encourages us.
Amen.
[1] Vayikra Rabbah 34:8.
[2]
Much of this homily—the portrait of Reuben’s character and the pastoral
invitation to reflect upon where our love comes from—reflects the
interpretation of Reuben offered by Jonathan Sacks in his chapter “The Tragedy
of Reuben” in Genesis: The Book of
Beginnings (Covenant & Conversation Series; New Milford, CT: Maggid,
2009), ebook loc. 4142- 4273.
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