Classic Scenes
Have you ever watched a movie and known almost exactly what was going to happen—not because you had paid extra close attention and determined the hidden motives of characters, but because the plot was so obvious? Maybe it’s a sports movie, and the team is decimated with injuries, but you know that one of the players in the background is going to emerge as a leader and lead the team to the championship. Or maybe it’s an action movie, and the hero is finally cornered by bad guys, but you know he’s got an ally lurking in the shadows who’s going to turn the tide. Or maybe it’s a romance movie, and the two lovers have just had a monumental falling out that seems to have mortally wounded their relationship, but you know it’s all based on a tragic misunderstanding and somehow the two will end up in each other’s arms at the end.
These obvious scenes and plot sequences are not necessarily the signs of a poorly made movie. In fact, familiar scenes and sequences are fundamental to our enjoyment of a movie. When we know what will happen, but we do not know exactly how, we watch with special interest. It’s the little twists and tweaks that give us pleasure. When I watched the original Star Wars movies, I knew that Luke Skywalker and his buddies would emerge triumphant. What I didn’t know, however, was that it would only happen through the help of one of the “bad” guys. The classic line from Darth Vader, “Luke, I am your father,” is so famous because it reveals one of the central surprises of the Star Wars trilogy and foreshadows how Darth Vader will end up saving his son and winning the day for the rebels.
The Woman at the Well…With a Twist
The Bible contains its own catalogue of familiar scenes and sequences. There’s the “divine revelation in the desert,” which we see in the stories of Hagar, Moses, Elijah, and Jesus. There’s the “barren mother who miraculously conceives,” such as Sarah, Hannah, and Mary. There’s the “bitter conflict between rival wives,” like Hagar and Sarah, Rachel and Leah, Hannah and Penninah. And then there’s the scene that we have today, “the woman at the well.” It happens again and again in the Bible, not only here, but also later with Jacob when he meets Rachel watering the flocks, Moses when he meets Zipporah watering the flocks, even Jesus when he meets the Samaritan woman drawing water for herself. Each story begins with a man journeying in a foreign land, where he meets a woman at a well. Typically the man draws the water. Next, the woman rushes home to share news of the stranger. Finally, the woman is betrothed to the man, often in conjunction with a special meal.
Each instance of this classic scene provides its own twist. When Jesus meets the Samaritan woman, for instance, the obvious tweak is that the result is not a worldly marriage (of which the Samaritan woman has already had many), but a spiritual one. The water that matters is not the well water but the Spirit that the woman (and other Samaritans) draw from Jesus. In today’s scripture, there are several twists. First, Isaac is absent at his own betrothal. He has no say or responsibility in the matter. Instead, it is a family servant who meets Rebekah and arranges the marriage. In direct contrast to Isaac’s absence is Rebekah’s initiative. She is the one who draws water for the man, not vice versa. And she is the one who has the final say in the betrothal. Usually it is the father who finalizes the arrangement, but as we see in today’s text, the family asks her, “Will you go with this man?” and she says yes. (It seems as though Rebekah’s family appreciates her for who she is: a strong woman. No one dares to tell her what to do.)
Isaac’s absence from his own betrothal and Rebekah’s remarkable presence and initiative result in a reversal of gender expectations. Here, in this iteration of the classic woman-at-the-well scene, the man is passive, and the woman active. I don’t think this is just a fanciful twist, a little variation to spice things up. This characterization of Isaac and Rebekah fits well with what we see elsewhere. Isaac is commonly the passive object—the victim—of others’ actions. As a child, Isaac is a bound victim of his father’s near-sacrifice; as an aging father, he is a victim of his son Jacob’s deception. In contrast, Rebekah is an assertive personality; later she confronts God when she’s in pain, and she manipulates both her son and her husband into doing what she wants (Gen 25:5-17; 46).[1]
“I Will Give You Rest”
Some readers have suggested that Isaac’s passivity is in fact a sort of juvenile dependence. They point out how the moment of his marriage is oddly sandwiched between references to his mother, who has recently died. When Isaac marries Rebekah, he takes her where? His mother’s tent. Not the usual honeymoon destination. And what happens there? He is “comforted after his mother’s death” (Gen 24:67). In this interpretation, Isaac is a momma’s boy, overly dependent on the care and nurture of a maternal figure. Rebekah becomes not so much his wife but a replacement for his mother.
But when I read the gospel text for today, I find myself thinking of Isaac in a very different light. “Come to me,” Jesus says, “all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens…” (Matt 11:28). Is that not a fair description of Isaac? I think it is quite possible that Isaac is carrying a lot, that he is paralyzed by the trauma of his past. Instead of growing up in safety and care, Isaac grew up as his mother’s unhealthy obsession and his father’s near-sacrifice. First, his mother had impossible expectations for him, namely that he would fulfill her life and make her complete. Her obsession for him led her to wreck the lives of others (Hagar and Ishmael), and undoubtedly he felt the strain of her expectations, the need for him to be a certain person for her to be happy. If that weren’t enough, then his father made him carry the wood to his own sacrifice, bound him up, and nearly brought a knife down upon him. Has Isaac felt the love of his parents? Or has he felt instead the need to be someone else, someone lovable enough that his father wouldn’t sacrifice, someone whose every move would bring satisfaction to his mother?
I’m nearly certain that, when Isaac meets Rebekah, he is weary and carrying heavy burdens.
So, when the text says, “He loved her [and] so [he] was comforted after his mother’s death” (Gen 24:67), I think it’s not a matter of the wife becoming a substitute for the mother. I think, rather, it’s a matter of love helping Isaac to heal from the wounds of his past. I think it’s a matter of him knowing now, what he never fully knew as a child: someone who loves him as he is. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this verse is the first expression in the Bible of love in a partnered relationship. This is a special, life-changing moment. Isaac’s heart, which has long lain dormant behind walls of fear and insecurity, awakens and comes to life in the face of a person who sees him as he is and says, “Yes.”
Jesus says, “Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matt 11:29). I think that is what Isaac has found in today’s story—rest for his soul. He has found the “easy” yoke of Christ. How can that be? For the first time in his life, he does not need to strive; he does not need to secure his father’s love or meet his mother’s needs. For the first time in his life, he loves and is loved. And “so,” the scripture says, he is “comforted” (Gen 24:67). Love brings rest to his soul and puts him at ease. He experiences then what we experience now in Christ, who sees us as we are and says, “Yes.” This love—the one that Isaac encounters, perhaps for the first time in his life, the one that we know today in Christ—liberates us from the need to be someone else and sets us on a gentle and humble way.
Prayer
Whose blessing breaks through
The traumas of the past
And brings rest to our souls:
Meet us, please, where we have need,
Where we are bound
By unhelpful expectations or hurtful patterns
…
Teach us your gentle and humble heart,
The one Isaac discovered.
[1] More
specifically, she orchestrates Jacob’s deception of his father (Gen 25:5-17)
and manipulates her husband into sending Jacob to her family (Gen 27:46).
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