“Monkey See, Monkey Do”—Or, Monkey Learns Desire
A couple of weeks ago, I went to the beach with my brother’s family. We had a great time. My nephew Matthew tried his hand at building sandcastles. His constructions never lasted long, because his great joy was seeing them demolished by the waves; he built them as close as possible to the water. My nephew Nathan ventured a bit further in the water and became giddy with excitement as Uncle Jonny tried to bodysurf.
My nephew Nathan is an expressive individual and loves an audience, so a family vacation affords him the joy of having a larger stage than usual. He’ll tell jokes. He’ll flaunt some knowledge or skill he’s recently acquired. And on this particular trip, he would occasionally show off a peculiar-looking dance move. He would bend his knees a little, spread his arms and dangle his hands, and then shake or quiver. The whole trip, it was a mystery just what this move was.
But I think I have solved the case. Or at
least I have one theory and two possible solutions. The theory, of which I’m
nearly certain, is that Nathan was imitating a body movement he’d seen
somewhere else. In the last few months, he has watched several soccer
tournaments on television and seen several trophy celebrations, not least of
which was a trophy celebration of his favorite team, Liverpool. And the
traditional choreography of these trophy celebrations involves the whole team
bending down and waving their hands, mimicking a volcano beginning to rumble;
then the captain puts his hands on the trophy and waits, one, two, three, and
then suddenly thrusts the trophy high, as the all the players around him erupt,
jumping up and throwing their hands to the sky. Long story short, I think
Nathan may have been mimicking this celebrated scene with his own dangly-hands
dance move. Alternatively, I’ve considered the possibility that somewhere along
the beach or perhaps on TV Nathan had seen the representation of someone
surfing, bending their knees, holding out their hands to steady themselves,
perhaps shaking a bit as they ride the wave.
Either way, Nathan’s mystery dance move illustrates that fundamental human truth commonly expressed as “monkey see, monkey do.” You can see it everywhere, if you look for it. In the elevator, where studies have shown that a newcomer will more often than not turn their body to face the same direction as others are facing. In infants, who will often mimic the facial expressions of the caregiver who is holding them. In little children, who want to do what they see their parents doing. In advertising, where celebrities who use a product inspire viewers to want the same product.
Philosopher Rene Girard developed a theory for this “monkey see, monkey do” mechanism, called “mimetic theory.” He said that humans learn to desire by seeing what other people desire. We learn our desires, our values, our way of life, by watching to see what other people desire and value and how other people live.
All of which is to say, we learn first and foremost by example. It seems to be hardwired into us. At its root, education is less about imparting knowledge through words and concepts and more about modeling attitudes and behaviors through actions. Actions speak louder than word.
“Be
Their Example, Not Their Legislator”
Today’s scripture begins with Peter addressing the “elders,” by which he means not “older” people but more experienced followers of Christ who bear more influence in their community. He encourages them to “tend the flock of God,” that is, other Christ-followers in their community, but he makes crystal clear what their leadership should look like. Echoing Jesus himself, Peter says, “Do not lord it over those in your charge, but be examples to the flock” (1 Pet 5:3).
Leading by example is not just a good principle that Peter recommends. Maybe he knows about mimetic theory, about “monkey see, monkey do,” but the real reason that he instructs the elders to lead by example is Jesus, who leads in precisely the same way. You may recall that earlier in the letter, Peter encourages those who are suffering by pointing them to Christ, who he says “suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you should follow in his steps” (1 Pet 2:21). The particular example that Christ left was that of not returning abuse with abuse, not returning persecution with threats, but instead entrusting oneself to God “who judges justly” (1 Pet 2:23).
There is a tale from the Desert Fathers and Mothers, that group of Christ-followers in the fourth century who saw the domestication of Christianity by the Roman Empire and decided to leave society and live in the desert where they might “stay wild,” so to speak. In this anecdote, a man approaches his own elder, Abba Poemen, with a dilemma. The man reports that two brothers—that is, two fellow Christ-followers—have moved into his dwelling space and expressed their desire that he be their leader and their teacher. He seems to feel inadequate and doesn’t know what to do. Abba Poemen instructs him, saying, “[J]ust work first and foremost, and if they want to live like you, they will see to it themselves. … [B]e their example, not their legislator.”[1]
I cannot think of a better or more succinct expression of the way Jesus lived or the way that we as his followers are called to live. If the way of Jesus, the kingdom of God, is to come on earth, it will come by neither sword nor sermon. It will come only by the living example of Christ.
Thinking
of Ourselves Less
To be an example is simple…but it is not easy. Because at the heart of being an example is letting go. It is no coincidence that Peter prefaces his call to “be examples” with the instruction, “Do not lord it over others in your charge” (1 Pet 5:3). To be an example means that we are not telling others what to do or think. We are not in control of others.
Peter unfolds this need to let go by explaining, “All of you must clothe yourselves with humility in your dealings with one another” (1 Pet 5:5). Humility has an unavoidable connotation of lowliness. The Greek word for “humble” (tapeinos) is used elsewhere to describe valleys and rivers as opposed to mountains. It is used to refer to people who are not powerful, not famous, not intelligent, not important.
Our world looks on humility with a suspicious eye, and perhaps with good reason. Some people have misconstrued the lowliness of humility with having a poor sense of self-worth, a diminished self-image. Some people think to be humble means to acknowledge, “I am worthless, a worm, a nobody.” But that is clearly not what humility means in the gospel of Jesus Christ. When Jesus began his ministry, he had just heard as clear as day the voice of God, declaring, “You are my beloved child, with whom I am well pleased,” and that is the same message he proclaims to us. We are not worthless worms.
I have found this modern slogan to be helpful in understanding humility. “Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself. It means thinking of yourself less.” Peter’s next instructions unfold what thinking of yourself less might look like. “Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you” (1 Pet 5:7). In other words, do not obsess about your worries and how you’re going to fix them all on your own. Rather remember that the Lord is with you and cares about you (cf. Phil 4:4-7); entrust God with your concerns. I have noticed myself that when I can entrust God with my worries, I am liberated to look outside myself, to become a little less self-focused. Perhaps to become a bit more humble.
Peter next exhorts us to be alert for the devil, who is prowling around like a lion. I am reminded of how Jesus himself encountered the devil, how the temptations with which he was faced were prestige (make a spectacle of yourself!), power (have authority over all the nations of the world!), and possessions (turn this stone into the thing you need!)--the three things we commonly seek to make ourselves feel better, to solve our worries or anxieties on our own. In essence, these were temptations to obsess about himself, to forget God’s care and try to do it on his own. But each time, Jesus resists the temptation and redirects his attention to God’s presence and care.
The
Confessing Church
To be examples for others means we are called not to change others, but to be changed ourselves.
The theologian John Howard Yoder identified three basic Christian approaches to our modern world. The first he called “the activist church.” Typically associated with liberal politics, activist Christians seek to change the world through the means of the world, through politics and laws and even war if necessary. The second approach he called “the conversionist church.” Typically associated with conservative politics, conversionist Christians seek to change the beliefs of others. They focus on winning souls for the afterlife and accept that worldly politics will rule the day until the day we all arrive in heaven. Even though the activist and conversionist approaches often find themselves at odds, they share a couple common feature. They both endeavor to change other people, and they both participate heartily in the world’s politics, seeing laws and presidents and battles as just the way the world works.
But there is a third approach that Yoder called “the confessing church.” The confessing church differs radically from the activist and the conversionist in that it does not seek to change other people. Rather, it seeks to be changed itself, to model for the world a different way, the way of Christ. While it acknowledges the seeming dominance of worldly politics, of voting and laws and lawsuits and guns, it seeks to live out a different politics, the politics of God’s kingdom, where enemies are loved and persecutors are blessed, where people live simply and share what they have, where compassion rules over merit, where the sick and shamed are healed through embrace and belonging.
The good news that I hear for us today, is that to be examples, we don’t need anything other than Christ and one another. Together in Christ, we can live a different way. We can be a part of the Christly contagion that is the kingdom of God.
Prayer
Who in Christ
Leads us by example—
Deliver us from worries
That turn us inward and isolate us.
Grant us the freedom to be humble,
To think of ourselves a little less
Because we know we are cared for.
And in this freedom,
Inspire us to live like Christ,
Not as legislators
But as examples.
In Christ, who is spreading your kingdom: Amen.
[1] The Sayings of the Desert Fathers: The Alphabetical Collection
(trans. and ed. Benedicta Ward; Kalamazoo, MI: Cistercian, 1975), 191.
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