Sunday 5 August 2018

A Hunger Deeper than We Know (2 Samuel 11:26-12:13a)


(Homily for Gayton Road Christian Church's Worship on August 5, 2018, Proper 13)



Tacos and Guacamole

It was late in the week when Dave asked Kate about her weekend.  Neither had plans, so they decided they would make dinner at Kate’s home.  The word spread to the others: Kate’s apartment on Friday.  Bring a dish.

It came together wonderfully.  One friend made tacos.  Another friend made bean dip.  Someone brought chips.  And someone else whipped up guacamole at the last minute.  And Sean, the fifth friend, didn’t bring anything but himself.

Sean was deep in the ruts of depression.  It was all he could do to get himself off his couch, into the car, and over to Kate’s.  But he did.  And slowly over dinner he came to life.  The call and response of bad jokes and groans brought the flicker of a smile to his face. 

The others reflected his glow.  Dave, who had been fighting cancer now for three months, relaxed as he dipped his chips into the common bowl of guacamole.  Kate, who was still recovering from a bitter divorce, loosened up as she joined in the others’ commiserations over a difficult workweek.  Even Jason and Sarah, the couple who had it all together, seemed more at ease than usual.  The truth is, behind their success lay unseen scars and struggle—both had had unfulfilled family upbringings and were now engaged in a never-ending struggle to prove their worth through work and achievement.  But on this evening, in this gathering, they had nothing to prove, nothing to achieve.

The five friends feasted that night over their simple Southwest fare.  Each person felt not only full, but fulfilled. 

A couple of weeks later, Jason and Sarah were talking about how great a time they had.  They wanted to recreate it.  So they called the others and made arrangements for a precise repetition of the evening.  There would be tacos.  There would be bean dip.  There would be chips.  And there would be guacamole.  Because those were the ingredients of that first miraculous gathering.

But this time, the gathering wasn’t miraculous.  This time they left the gathering feeling only full, not fulfilled.  All the same food items were there.  But what the friends did not realize is that their first gathering had been about much more than the food on the table.  It had been about a loving trust in each other, a liberation from the pressures of the world, peace somehow amid the uncertainty of their lives.

What they did not realize is that their deepest hunger was not for food.  Their deepest hunger was for love. 

Loaves and Fishes

When Jesus fed the five thousand, the crowd was so overwhelmed with the miracle that they were going to take Jesus by force and make him king.  But Jesus realized this and quickly withdrew.

The next day, however, the crowd goes looking for Jesus.  When they find him, Jesus tries to change their hearts.  Or rather, he tries to tell them what is already in their hearts but is deeper than they know.  He tries to tell them the real reason that they are looking for him.  “You are looking for me,” he says in today’s scripture, “not because you saw signs, but because you ate your fill”—not of “food that perishes” but of a different kind of food, a “food that endures,” a food that gives life to the world (John 6:26-27, 32-33). 

When the crowd goes searching for Jesus, they think they are looking for another miracle.  What they do not realize, Jesus points out, is that they are looking for the wrong miracle.  The real miracle was not the five loaves and two fishes.  It was something that happened in the food, in the gathering, in the selfless sharing of Christ.  What the crowd does not realize is that their deepest hunger is not for food.  Their deepest hunger is for love.

“The Wife of Uriah”

It seems that our hunger is often deeper than we know.  We think it’s one thing when actually it’s something inside that.

When David saw a beautiful woman and learned that her name was Bathsheba, he thought he knew what he wanted.  But he was confused.  He knew only the outside, her name and her appearance.  When Nathan the prophet broaches the matter of Bathsheba, he does not refer to the outside.  He does not refer to the beauty of her appearance or the name by which she is called.  He calls her the “wife of Uriah.”  The narrator, too, calls her not Bathsheba but “the wife of Uriah.”  In his genealogy of Jesus, Matthew will also refer to her as “the wife of the Uriah.”   Nathan and the narrator and Matthew all know the inside of this tragic situation.  David has not just taken a woman.  He has taken the wife of another man.  He has destroyed a family.  He has violated the law, the Torah.

I don’t know what David really wanted.  I don’t know what he was really hungry for.  But I imagine it was not far from the real hunger of the five friends who gathered for dinner on Friday or the five thousand who gathered around five loaves and two fishes.  What the five friends really hungered for was not tacos and chips and guacamole.  What the crowd of five thousand really hungered for was not a miracle of loaves and fishes.  What they really hungered for is what was happening inside those things.  What they really hungered for was love.

The Love Inside

I remember how when I was younger, if someone asked me before Christmas or my birthday what I wanted, I might have rattled off a list of things.  My answers today have surely evolved, but I sometimes find myself approaching life the same way.  (Perhaps you do too.)  “If only I had this or that, if only things were this way or that way.” 

But of course, it was never the presents that I really wanted when I was younger.  It was the love inside them.

Prayer

Compassionate Christ,
Who knows our hunger
Better than we do ourselves—
We have had our fill
Of the things of this world,
Which leave us feeling full
But far from fulfilled.
Draw us more deeply
Into our true hunger
And its true fulfillment:
Your love,
Which gives life to the world.  Amen.


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